Scott Brooks Brothers – No Thanks

If you want to know who watches soccer in the USA then look at the adverts on Gol TV and Fox Soccer Channel. Most are adverts for incontinence and impotence drugs. Or acne cream called Proactive.

So watching the Gold Cup on Fox- which is a shit name for a tournament that doesn’t involve horse racing – I’m led to believe that the audience are people that can’t control their piss and shit, have bad skin, or can’t get it up.

I had bad skin. To the extent that if I smiled, I would burst a white head. I’m not joking! I was 19 years old. I had such bad acne on my face that if you did dot to dot with my pimples it would spell DOG. It affected my confidence so bad that I never went out. I stayed at home too ashamed to show my spotty face to the world. I eventually took a ton of antibiotics and my face was the before and after on the Proactive ad. Thank fuck.

Now if I was pissing and shitting all over the place I would jump in front of a train. Staying alive would not be an option. I mean can you imagine going on a date and literally shitting yourself. Hell no. I wouldn’t go out.

Instead, I would stay in and watch the Gold Cup.

But the American soccer presenters on Fox Soccer Channel covering the Gold cup look like conts. For a start, they have ridiculous airline pilot headsets, as if they are getting ready for take-off – instead they are getting you ready for kick-off. They wear these dark Ivy League blazers with FSC insignias on their chest pockets, accompanied by stripped preppy ties and starched shirts. What you have is Brooks Brothers controlled soccer.

It’s fucking horrible.

There is zero personality and zero to like about these conts. But then when I see the USA team line up to face Haiti, I realize that they look like the same type of conts as the Fox Soccer presenters, only without the blazers and ties.

Fuck-off Fox.

I’d rather watch adverts on controlling my cock and shit than these soccer Brooks Brothers.

Corporate soccer – No thanks!

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