Let’s All Laugh at Arsenal

Yesterday was meant to be a celebration of St. Totteringham’s Day. Instead, Gooners today are a laughing stock.

Before the game, Arsenal were firm favorites to win. Spurs were meant to be demoralized after losing to relegated and debt fucked Portsmouth in one of the biggest shocks of FA Cup semi-final history.

Spurs were also meant to be weak, having played extra time last Sunday on a Wembley sapping pitch with their two best midfielders out through injury and suspension.

Arsenal had no game last weekend. We had a week off.

Spurs included a 19 year old making his debut and had Cuntes Kaboul playing out of position. Their midfield was run by Tom Huddlestone – a man with a thunder shot and not much else.

On paper, this should have been three points to Arsenal. The Scum were there for the taking.

In the early stages, Arsenal looked more likely to score. From a corner, Campbell forced a clearance off the line. We looked in control. The pace of the game was frenetic. Then Spurs had their first real attack. A Pavlycunto shot that was bravely blocked by Vermaelen. Corner to Spurs and a roar from the Scum massive.

Enter Manuel Almunia.

The corner is whipped in to his box. Almunia elects to punch because catching a ball is not part of his game. I said “punch” but Almunia jabbed the ball. The ball drops to the edge of his penalty area. Almunia is in no-mans-land. The 19 year old debutant smashes home Almunia’s jab and Shite Hart Lane detonates.

The Gooner I’m watching the game with says you can’t blame Almunia’s punch. The co-commentator and ex-Yid, Paul Walsh concurred. Fine, Almunia’s “jab” wasn’t the reason for Spurs going one up, but the ball going through his arms, like water going through a sieve, was.

In big games, Almunia will fuck up.

He makes crucial saves – like he did in the second half when one on one with Modric – but he also makes crucial mistakes.

Inconsistent goalkeepers don’t belong at a club as big as Arsenal.

Wenger says his back-up Fabianski will one day be world class. Well, that day isn’t today and it’s unlikely to be any time soon. World class goalkeepers do exist and they’re available. Time to fucking buy one and spend whatever it takes to get one otherwise this time next year will be another case of deja fucking vu.

Sunderland spent 9 million pounds on Craig Gordon and he’s better than Almunia. We got Almunia from a club that had sent him out on loan because they didn’t rate him. Almunia was a not wanted, back-up keeper, offloaded on loan, by a lowly La Liga club to another lowly Spanish club – when Arsenal bought him for 500,000 pounds and 8 Rice Krispies treats.

Arsenal’s number one transfer target MUST be a goalkeeper. I can’t take any more jabs, failure to catch a high cross or poor positioning. I want a keeper that installs confidence in his defenders and organizes his back four just as good as Sol Campbell does.

Sol Campbell deserves a one year contract. The man carried Arsenal for the majority of the game and nearly scored twice. He put other Arsenal players to shame last night. Especially the midfield and attack.

There was no understanding between them. We looked like a team that had just met each other for the first time. I lost count the amount of times balls were played to no-one or passed to a Spurs player. It was poor.

Tactically, Wenger got it wrong. He played 4-3-3. His attack included a right-back and a central midfielder. This left Bendtner alone and placing himself in bizarre positions to receive the ball because he had no one to play off. Maybe Eduardo’s and Vela’s days are numbered but when you’re playing against the carthorse Michael Dawson and the crock Ledley King, you need to test them with at least two attackers and not a confused right-back or a Czech midfielder who looked like a fairy searching for his wand.

The other Arsenal player who put everyone to shame was Robin van Persie. Here’s a man who hasn’t played for over five months. Yet in his 20 minute performance, he had four strikes that produced top draw saves from Gomes. Van Persie’s introduction suddenly turned the 4-3-3 formation from impotence to potency. Arsenal now had two attackers and the threat of Walcott on the right. Our goal involved all three attackers with van Persie feeding Walcott who crossed for Bendtner to slide in. We now had Spurs on the ropes.

With another strike partner to play off, Bendtner suddenly came alive. His goal was his ninth in eleven appearances. He doesn’t have the class of van Persie but as a target man he can be very useful. Nevertheless, last night you could see why Wenger has signed Chamakh from Bordeaux.

My only major criticism of the players is their lack of passion or fight. This was summed up in injury time by Almunia. The clown has the ball in his hands. Time is running out. You would expect him to boot the ball into the Spurs half. Instead, he throws it to an Arsenal defender who is not expecting the ball and who is immediately under pressure from a Spurs player. Almunia did this three times. On one occasion, he threw the ball to Silvestre who, under pressure, passed the ball to Peter Crouch.

It was so bad, it was laughable.

The season is over.

It ended at White Hart Lane of all places.

The Scum love that fact.

Keep It Arsenal

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