11 Reasons Why Arsenal Need a New Goalkeeper

Saturday, August 25th: Manchester United 2-1 Arsenal
Arsene Wenger was sent to the dug out. Robin van Persie had a legitimate goal ruled out for offside. Arshavin was denied a blatant penalty after being chopped by the miserable Fletcher. Diaby scored a ridiculous own goal and Rooney cheated by diving to win United a penalty. However, Almunia needlessly dived at Rooney – the England striker was going nowhere – and he duly took the bait by diving over him. Rooney then scored from the resulting 59th minute penalty and Arsenal’s flawless start to the season was wrecked. Thanks Manuel!

Sunday, October 25th: West Ham United 2-2 Arsenal
At half-time Arsenal were winning 2-0. They were cruising. Then in the 76th minute, Hines dived and won a free-kick. Diamanti’s shot was palmed towards goal instead away from goal by Mannone and onto Carlton Cole’s head. Four minutes later, Cole dived after barely being touched by Song and West Ham equalized. Mannone’s error brought West Ham back from the dead.

Sunday, November 29th: Arsenal 0-3 Chelsea
Chelsea destroy Arsenal and create an 11 point gap. This game was boys against men. The first Chelsea goal was poor defensively. The second goal was poor goalkeeping. Vermaelen’s own goal, just before half-time would have been averted if Almunia had commanded his penalty area. He didn’t. Instead, Ashley Cole swings in a low cross. Gallas misses it. The ball then hits the knee of an unsighted Vermaelen and spins into the top right hand corner. Almunia is nowhere. He should have claimed Cole’s cross but instead stayed rooted to his line like a frightened mouse. Thanks Almunia!

Saturday, January 9th: Arsenal 2-2 Everton
Rosicky salvages a point for Arsenal by scoring an injury time equalizer. Osman put Everton ahead with a header from a corner. Osman is 5 feet 6. Denilson equalized with a heavy deflection, but then Everton went ahead again when Steven Pienaar chipped the ball over a a pathetic crouching Almunia. Poor goalkeeping!

Sunday, January 24th: Stoke City 3-1 Arsenal FA Cup 4th Round
Two minutes in and Stoke win a throw-in inside the Arsenal half. Rory Delap launches one of his special throws which flies into the Arsenal penalty area. From the edge of the penalty area, Fuller sprints in and heads home an easy header. 1-0 Stoke. Standing on his heels waiting for the ball to reach him was Fabianski. I’m sure he never saw Fuller coming but instead of going to meet the ball, he instead waited for it. It was a costly mistake that got Stoke in the groove.

Sunday, January 31st: Arsenal 1-3 Manchester United
When a goalkeeper scores an own goal two things come to mind: (i) He was unlucky; (ii) he is a clown. With Manchester United’s first goal, Almunia was a clown. Nani gets the ball on the right hand side, deep into the Arsenal half. He then Cruyff turns two Arsenal players and chips a cross into the Arsenal penalty area, which Almunia somehow pushes into his own net. Appalling positioning, appalling decision making, and appalling goalkeeping.

Sunday, February 7th: Chelsea 2-0 Arsenal
The news of John Terry cheating with Wayne Bridge’s partner is all over the news. Chelsea’s first goal was from a corner. Almunia had no-one on the far post where Ivanavich headed to set up Chelsea’s first goal. The second goal was a Chelsea counter attack. Drogba went around Clichy and Vermaelen to shoot past Almunia. The ball was struck with a fair amount of pace from maybe ten meters but it was not unstoppable. It looked as though Almunia ducked underneath it. Coward goalkeeping.

Wednesday, February 17: FC Porto 2-1 Arsenal
This game was the worst goalkeeping performance by any Arsenal No.1. Fabianski scores an own goal by palming a nothing cross into his own net – he was under no pressure at all – 1-0. Then, he picks up a back pass but fails to organize his defence for the resulting free-kick, allowing Porto to re-take the lead. Porto will never score an easier goal.

Saturday, March 27th: Birmingham City 1-1 Arsenal
Arsenal are within seconds of a famous win at St Andrews. Joe Hart, the Birmingham goalkeeper, takes a free-kick from just outside his own penalty box. It lands near the Arsenal penalty area and isn’t dealt with by the Arsenal defence. Sagna lashes at the ball. It hits Kevin Phillips in the face and loops towards the Arsenal goal. Almunia slaps at the ball instead of tipping it over for a corner. The ball then agonizingly falls into the corner of the Arsenal goal with the pathetic Almunia scrambling back trying to claw the ball away. Another costly mistake.

Wednesday, March 31st: Arsenal 2-2 Barcelona
In the first half, Almunia produces world class saves and keeps Arsenal in the game. However, 30 seconds into the second half he shows Arsenal fans his other side – his crap side. Ibrahimovich takes a long ball, deep inside the Arsenal half. Almunia comes charging out of goal – for no reason – and is duly lobbed by the Swede. Ibrahimovich’s decision making is made easy for him by the poor positioning and decision making of Arsenal’s No.1. Fucking nightmare!

Sunday, April 18th: Wigan 3-2 Arsenal
There’s one minute of normal time left. Arsenal are winning 2-1. Wigan are asking questions and putting Arsenal under a lot of pressure. They are fighting relegation and win a corner. Fabianski is on his line. He comes to catch. He is under no real pressure. The ball lands in his hands. He fumbles and flaps the ball onto the head of Wigan centre-back Bramble who heads into the empty net.

2-2 and Arsenal’s title hopes are over thanks to Fabianski’s costly error.

Message to Arsene: Please sign a world class goalkeeper this summer.

Keep It Arsenal


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