Another Signing

Arsenal have signed Laurent Koscielny . He’s just agreed terms and will sign shortly.

I agreed terms about 7 years ago when I was in Amsterdam. No, I wasn’t signing for Ajax. I was getting a blow job from some Ho in an alleyway. 50 Euros for three minutes of action.

So what does this Koscielny bring to Arsenal? I have no fucking clue but he looks like a prisoner from some shit hole in California and a twin of that ugly bastard James Milner. So, yes, he’s just what Arsenal need at the back.

I got the Chamakh signing right but back in 2005, I said that Arsenal would sign Shaun Wank Phillips. Yeah, I got that one wrong – Thank God. But ever since then, some French loving cunt in New York has dismissed my statements as gossip. I think he needs to go down some dark alleyway in Amsterdam with 50 Euros in his pocket.

The other player Arsenal is going to sign is Joe Cole plus a goalkeeper. There’s probably another defender or defensive midfielder on his way too. But I’m not going to check NewsNow five times a day to see if Arsenal have signed some cunt who has a name that only my vomit can pronounce after 44 Bulgarian lagers.

Let’s face it, the World Cup has been great. I wake up and watch football. Come home from work and watch more football. I’m drinking a six pack a day and going on Stoke websites pretending to be a US fan. Instant abuse and hatred – so much so that I’ve been banned twice.

Stoke – the club that clings to the Premier League in the same way that excrement soiled toilet paper clings to the bum hairs on your crack. I can’t wait for them to be flushed down to the Championship.

If England fail to beat Slovenia, Stoke fans will blame Arsenal. Trust me on this one.

Maybe, it’s time for a British team. Wales haven’t qualified for a World Cup since 1958. Northern Ireland – who should join Ireland – haven’t qualified since 1986, while Scotland last qualified for a World Cup back in 1998. Scotland have never made it past the group stage.

England have made the last four of the World Cup only once in 44 years.

But a British team needs a British Premier League.

I would rather Arsenal play Celtic and Rangers than Stoke or Blackpool. Or how about just cut Blackpool, Blackburn, Stoke, Wolves, or West Brom from the Premier League and have a Winter Break. That way, England will be able to beat the mighty Slovenia 1-0 and advance to the knockout stages where they will lose on penalties.

I mean come on let’s get fucking real.

Watching England has been painful and always will be painful. So much so, that if England were a woman, even her tampon would say no.

Keep It Arsenal


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