Goodbye Fatty

Frank Lampard is an overrated Paul Merson. The difference between the two is that Merson was a boozer and a druggie who gambled his wages away. He came across as a man you could have a laugh with.

I don’t get that feeling with Frank Lampard.

Here’s a man who is an arrogant, narcissist who is completely immersed in believing that he is on the same playing field as Xavi or Zidane. No doubt Lampard is a good player but world class he is not.

Wayne Rooney proved he is a good player in the Premier League, but on the world’s biggest stage he did nothing except shout profanity into a TV camera. His chances of winning the Ballon D’Or are fucking zero.

Robinho cost Manchester City 30 million pounds. The man has moves and skill like no other. To be able to get past a professional defender you have to be cunning have wit and intelligence. You need to innovate not imitate. James Milner is valued at 30 million by Aston Villa. They bought him for 12 million after Newcastle had paid 5 million to Leeds in July 2004. Milner it must be remembered has never played in the Champions League and only has a handful of England caps to his name. He has one move to beat a defender, it’s the fucking oldest in the book – you beat the full back by half a yard and then whip in a cross. This new invention by the most overrated player since Stuart Downing – who also plays on the wing for Aston Villa – is so fucking good that it was copied by Shaun Wank Phillips. Son of Ian Wright you are not. Some other bloke stuck his cock into your mum’s vage and exploded his load and then got the fuck out of town – now that’s a move that I admire when it comes to England’s version of Lionel Messi.

Wank-Phillips cost Chelsea 24 million pounds. They then sold him back to Manchester City for 9 million pounds. That’s a lot of money for a man whose main skill is using his speed to beat a man and then cross the ball straight to the fucking goalkeeper. When Wank Phillips really wants to show the world that he’s worth 33 million in transfer fees he saves his best trick of all – using his speed to latch on to a pass and shoot straight at Tim Howard.

The heart of England’s defence was a man of 40 that played sporadically for a team that finished bottom of the Premiership. In front of him was a man that played for nearly relegated West Ham. A lot of Arsenal fans a few months ago were screaming at Arsene Wenger to re-sign this slow, clonker, footed cart horse known as Matthew Upson. If these Gooners were in charge of my life, I would be living on Skid Row begging to suck your cock so that I could suck on my crack pipe. You would look at my scabby lips, clotted hair and blotchy nuclear infested skin and ask how did I fuck up my life so badly – it’s called the Upson effect – leave clueless cunts in charge of something like Arsenal and they will turn it into fucking AIG. If I see these cunts – one of whom text my friend yesterday, going on about Rule Britannia – I will torch them with a flame thrower.

If James Milner is worth 30 million, Shaun Wank Phillips 24 million then what would Ray Parlour be worth today? Parlour never made the 98 World Cup squad even though he destroyed teams during that 98 Double season because of Eileen Drewery. This old tart was a faith healer that Glenn Hoddle used as part of his medical team. She cured hamstring strains by putting her hands on your head and chanting some Christian shit that the born again nut Hoddle swore by.

Parlour had a groin problem. Hoddle sent him to Eileen. As she stood behind the seated Parlour, closed her eyes and put her hands on top of his head, Parlour said “A short back and sides please love,” and then burst out laughing. Hoddle never picked Parlour for England again.

England are out because they are shit. They have average players that earn excessive amounts of money and who are transferred for egregious sums. England are not out because of a goal that never was. They’re out because they will always produce players like Emile Heskey, Stuart Downing, Kieron Dyer, Carlton Palmer, Gary Neville, or Gareth Barry.

Gareth Barry – the man who caused so much transfer gossip about his proposed move to Liverpool in August 2008 and then again in the summer of 2009. The man who earns 100,000 pounds a week. Then we have Gilberto Silva – the rock of the Brazilian team who would never commit such a basic error as losing the ball on the edge of his opponents penalty area – for Germany’s third goal – knowing that he was the last midfielder. Gilberto earns two-thirds less than Barry, yet is playing in yet another World Cup quarter-final – his third.

I’m glad England have gone out. It’s a team of over-paid cunts that is supported by the likes of Stoke and Cuntburn Rovers fans. It has some of the most detestable human beings playing for them. Cunts who kiss the Three Lions badge as if they are Knights of the Templar: John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Ashley Cole – men who would stick their cock in their grandmothers mouth just to get a laugh with their mates after they filmed it on their mobile phones.

US fans have set up a website to get rid of Bob Bradley. They have reason to be upset but at least they don’t have overpaid cunts representing their country. England and the US have average players but at least the American’s recognize this and make the best of it. This is summed up by Steve Cherundolo – a hard working but effective attacking full-back who put James Milner to shame.

Jozy Altidore, however, is a disgrace. Here is a man born and raised in Haiti – who turned his back on his homeland – who had one assist and zero goals in 4 games, playing against over-the-hill defenders such as Jamie Carragher and Bougherra. Then we have the tennis looking, politician sounding, fore-headed Landon Donovan who is every Sarah Palin loving Midwest soccer mom’s dream. US Soccer is too sanitized and Disneyfied. It needs to break down more class and social barriers before it can go to that next level. No-one wants to play a sport played by goofy looking cunts called Jozy or Landon.

The arrogance of the English – who claim to have the best league in the world so therefore they have the best players – is replicated by contemptuous so-called football experts like Alexi Lalas.

Before the Ghana match this Ginger haired fool starting talking about the US meeting Brazil in the semi-finals. Fuck me, this is a man who claims he turned down Arsenal for fucking Padova.

Fuck You!

Keep It Arsenal


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