The Informer Retires

I apologize to French Lovin Cunt (FLC) and any 1886 reader for wrongly announcing that Arsenal had signed Joe Cole on a free transfer.

This morning I woke up and read on Twitter that the cunt had signed for Liverpool on a four year contract. I felt like a fucking a fool and immediately sent an E-mail to FLC saying that I was sorry.

I fucking hate apologizing but when you make bold and foolish statements about who Arsenal are going to sign or have signed – and then you get them wrong – you need to face the music and put your hands up and say “I’m a cunt.”

Why Joe Cole has signed for Liverpool is anyone’s guess. It can only be for the money. Cole will not be playing Champions League football next season. Liverpool have no chance of winning the title even if they keep Gerrard, Mascherano, and Torres. They are in massive debt and are looking for new owners to get them out of debt.

Giving a man who is 29 in three months time, a four year contract worth 90,000 pounds a week and a signing on fee is risky especially with Cole’s injury record. On paper, it looks as though Liverpool have a good deal. The signing of Cole will convince the likes of Gerrard and Torres to stay and make Liverpool fans believe that they are ready once again to challenge for major honors.

Liverpool funded the Cole deal by selling Yossi Benayoun to Chelsea for 5.5 million pounds, Emiliano Insua to Fiorentina for 5 million, and releasing left-back Fabio Aurelio from the wage bill.

Roy Hodgson was correct when he told reporters that he will need to sell or release players in order to sign players.

As for Jamie Redknapp’s assertion that Joe Cole made the right decision in snubbing Arsenal and Spurs for Liverpool is foolish. Both North London clubs are playing Champions League football this season – Spurs do have to get past the qualifying stage. Liverpool, on the other hand, are playing once again in the Europa League.

With Arsenal, Joe Cole has a chance of winning the Premier League. At Liverpool, he has a chance of winning only the cup competitions.

Maybe Joe Cole doesn’t have the hunger inside him anymore to win major trophies. He’s won every major English trophy with Chelsea and it seems he wants to end his career with one last major pay day.

Only time will tell.

One thing is for sure, Chelsea fans must be slightly aggrieved. Chelsea sign the 30 year old Yossi Benayoun for 5.5 million pounds only to lose a younger – and arguably more talented – Joe Cole for nothing to their hated enemy Liverpool.

Nevertheless, do Arsenal really need Joe Cole? It looks as though Fabregas is staying – at least for one more year – and the emergence of Jack Wilshere has made many Gooners question if we actually need an older injury prone prototype in Cole?

I think that we need a new goalkeeper and central defender than a play maker such as Joe Cole.

I am starting to get very worried about the goalkeeping situation but I won’t be checking NewsNow to see if Arsenal have signed one or are about to sign one. Nor will I be trying to wind up FLC by announcing signings that I have no knowledge of.

Instead, I announce my retirement.

Keep It Arsenal

The Informer

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1 Comment

  1. Hahahaha You mug!


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