The Season Starts with Everton

I’ll probably write a full season preview after the transfer window closes. The truth is, it’s hard to make definitive statements before knowing what we’ll fully have at our disposal. I will state these three points though.

1) In Andrey Arshavin, we have one of the three best players in the Premier League (Essien and Rooney are the other two in my opinion). And sometimes, these players are the ones that decide who win the championship.

2) Never write off Arsenal when coming off a summer without a major international tournament. Sure, we had a few players in the Confederations Cup and the Gold Cup, but it’s not similar to the effect that the World Cup or the Euros have on our team. If you look at all our league triumphs, you’ll notice they come in these years. Take a look at the team that should have won the Premier League two years ago. Same deal there.

3) None of the other teams above us have improved considerably. In the case of Manchester United and Liverpool, it could be argued strongly that they have regressed. This year is wide open. Wide open.

And off to previewing the first match of the season.

Quite frankly, it is actually a difficult fixture. Everton are especially tough at Goodison, but at least they’ll be deprived of Arteta and Jagielka. They still have players like Cahill, Fellaini, and Jo. It’ll be interesting to see where they play Fellaini throughout the year. While decimated by injuries, they would play him up front, but he’s a natural central midfielder. They’ll definitely be pumping balls at his big afro throughout the whole match. We’ll see whether or not Vermaelen will be able to deal with these aerial balls, a very interesting thing to keep an eye on.

For my money, David Moyes is a dead ringer for Moe Szyslak on The Simpsons. But anyway, he’s a decent manager. He can pump out the maximum out of minimal conditions, but I don’t think he has the tactical nous to ever manage a big club. Everton seems to be his level, and that’s not an insult.

Our season starts with a brutal stretch of games. If we come through it, we’ll show everybody that we’re for real. The odds may be stacked against us, and it seems as though 50% of the pundits have predicted us to finish out of the top 4. But that’s why they’re pundits and not maangers. They don’t have a fucking clue.

Believe.

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2009/10 Season Preview Part One

The new season starts on Saturday. Instead of looking at the current Arsenal squad, I am going to concentrate on the so-called Battle For 4th Spot. Starting with:

ASTON VILLA
Martin O’Neill is another Phil Brown but slightly tamer. Remember his gay celebrations when Villa scored against us? I do. What about when he fronted Wenger on the touchline at Villa Park? Acting hard and talking up his team is what Martin O’Neill is all about. He sounds just like Phil Brown.

Villa deserved to beat us at The Emirates 2-0 back in December, but the 2-2 draw at Villa Park was my lowest point of last season.

I want revenge.

I want James Milner and Ashley Young to suffer pain. Remember Villa were shocking in the second half of last season. So why believe the hype surrounding them? After all, they have a 40 year old keeper, lost their captain, signed an expensive crock and a teenager who has only played Division 1 football. Delph has been bought to replace Ashley Young who will join one of the big four next summer – and that big four does not include Villa.

Villa won’t be the surprise that they were last season. Wankers.

EVERTON
Tough first game of the season. But Everton away is always a tough fixture. I would rather play Everton now, when the weather is still nice and the pitches are in good condition, than in the winter. Last season, van Persie scored a last minute equalizer in the January fog after that Aussie, Cunthill scored from a corner. Everton are another team tipped to take 4th spot from Arsenal. This is because they finished 5th in the Premiership and reached the FA cup final after knocking Man United’s reserves out in a semi-final penalty shoot out.

I’m not a big Everton fan. They play long ball and rely on crosses and set pieces for goals. David Moyes seems like a drill Sargeant and Phil Neville is scum. Jo is their only signing and Lescott looks as though he’s off to Man City, only to be replaced by Senderos. Hardly an improvement. 4th spot – fuck off.

SPURS
Palacios is a good signing but Bassong will be another Dawson. After all, he played for Newcastle and helped them get relegated. Peter Crouch is awkward and a threat in the air, but he’s not Luis Fabiano. The Scum also signed two unknows from Sheffield United who will turn out be the new Bale and Bostock – nobody’s in other words. Spurs will not have the terrible start to the season that they had last year. However, they will never make the top four either.

Carling Cup finals provide The Scum with a false sense of superiority. Harry Redknapp is now expected to provide Scum fans with the 4th spot that they so badly crave. If he can’t deliver, he will join his thicko son Jamie as a pundit and quit coaching. Last season, The Scum got a lucky 4-4 draw. That chav Bentley went mental. Clichy fucked up that day. I want revenge badly. Good to see Bentley get arrested for drink driving.

Cont.

MANCHESTER CITY
Spending money on big transfer fees has never guaranteed you anything. Teams need time to gel. City fans are expectant. A mediocre start and Mark Hughes will get the sack. And that’s what will happen to City. 4th spot is still a pipe dream for them.

LIVERPOOL
Alonso is a big loss. Arbeloa will be too. Mascherano would love to join them. Carragher is getting on. Aquilani is injured and Glen Johnson is way overpriced.

Pundits believe Liverpool will be champions.

I think otherwise.

Liverpool are in the fight for fourth spot. They are too reliant on Torres and Gerrard. Kuyt and Benayoun are underated and more dangerous than people give them credit for but who else have they got?

Voronin? Lucas? Ngog? Babel?

Please!

People need to realize that Liverpool will not do the double over Man United and Chelsea, like they did last season. They will also lose to Arsenal at The Emirates.

Liverpool fans are in for a shock.

So are Arsenal fans.

Arsenal are going to surprise you.

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